General | Parents Anonymous

Helping Your Teen Deal With Mean Girls

Bullying is something that has become a big problem recently and it happens at any age, but especially with teenagers. Here are some tips that you can use if your teenage girl has to deal with mean girls.

Communicate With Her – The first thing that you should do is to make sure that the communication lines are open because that will help you stay informed. This is also gogin to help her to feel as if she’s not alone. This is something that’s really valuable to teens who are dealing with girls that are mean.
Be Considerate – The second thing that you should do is to give her what she needs, whether she needs you to give her a hand or she simply needs your shoulder to cry on. She’s going to need your support.
Encourage Her – The third thing that you want to do is to encourage her to find more friends that will help with her self esteem. When she’s surrounded by truly good friends, it will help her a lot.
Know Her Feelings – The fourth thing that you want to do is to watch for any signs that she’s depressed. If this is something that happens, you should have your daughter talk to someone at school or even a private counselor.
Be a Role Model – The final thing that you should do is to make sure that you’re being a good role model. Don’t gossip or say things that are mean about other people. Being an example can really go a long way to helping your teenager.

These five things are the ones that are really going to help your daughter to deal with the mean girls in her life. Just make sure that she knows she can count on you for help and for support and be there when she needs it.

Filed Under: Child Health, General

Teen Depression on the Rise

: Image via Wikipedia

A bad mood is not considered depression or even short bouts of melancholy, but teen depression is a problem that is on the rise. If a teenager is depressed and it goes untreated, it could lead to serious problems in school and at home. If the problem is ignored it could lead to violence and suicide while setting the teenager up for a lifetime of sadness.

If diagnosed, teenage depression has many treatments. Parents, teachers, and teenagers can learn the signs and symptoms of depression so they can be ready to help with treatment when the warning signs occur. There are many support groups that are available to help the teenager that suffers from depression and parents who are trying to help their children through a challenging disease.

Many misconceptions surround teenage depression. One main misconception is that all teens are depressed. A teen does have many challenges in balancing school, activities, and their social life, but not all teenagers are depressed. A bad mood here or there and acting out is a part of being a teenager, but parents need to be able to recognize when these signs begin to point to something more dangerous.

Many believe that teen depression is increasing, but the reality is that we are just now being more open to the fact that teenagers do develop depression. Depression is treatable, but less than 20% of teenagers suffering from depression get help. Teenagers do not have the ability to get assistance by themselves so it is important for parents to be involved in their child’s care. Drug therapy has shown improvements in teenage depression, but medication and support groups have a better effect on teenagers. Support groups and group therapy are so successful because it lets the teenager know they are not alone in how they feel.

Filed Under: General Tagged With: Adolescence, Depression, Drug Addiction, Health, John Curry, Major depressive disorder, Mental health, Parent, Support group, Teen Issues

Internet Addiction

: Image by DavidErickson via Flickr

Internet addiction is on the rise. Especially in teenagers. Glued to their dynamic computer screens, teenagers find the virtual world more enticing than the real world. The Internet is such an ocean of diverse information, that teenagers can’t help their Internet addiction problems.

Teenagers who are glued to the virtual world eventually end up depressing themselves. They somehow find salvation of their embroiled energies in the random world of the Internet. At this time anything is their disposal through this medium. Be it movies, shopping, dating, and games.

Teenagers find Internet games a big hook-on. Facebook, the popular social media, has cut through this market with interactive games. People can play Facebook games with their friends or anyone from any part of the world. With such technology, it is very apparent that addiction to the virtual world is for real.

Teenagers take to games on the Internet faster. When new games are introduced, things get even more interesting, and the internet addiction becomes stronger. More than ten hours a day are spent by teenagers in front of computer screens scouring the abysses and surfaces of the internet.

What can all this do to teenagers? Teen issues related to poor eyesight, lack of concentration, poor academic orientations, rebellious behavior can be attributed to the rise of the multimedia content on the Internet. Due to architecture of the Internet in allowing free content on most aspects, it becomes easier for teenagers to sit on their chairs and look at the world that’s happening in front of their eyes. Somehow they are convinced about the virtual world.

When Internet addiction in teenagers increase, lack of sleep sets in, creating stress. Stress creates discord. Teenagers will become irksome, emotionally unstable, and repulsive. The situation will worsen if the Internet viewing activity is not moderated.

Such technology is awaited that can moderate the Internet, in that ISP’s can deliver only select content to homes based on personal preferences. Much like what we see in companies.

Filed Under: General Tagged With: Addiction, Adolescence, Facebook, Health, Internet addiction disorder, Online game, Video game, Virtual world

Sex Addiction

From the time of Kamasutra, that essayed the art of sex, the world sat up and took notice. It was no longer a biological wrangle, but a beautiful art of self-discovery and liberation. But not anymore. The modern world had commoditized it. It no longer retains the earthy flavor of a union of two souls. Rather, it has become ubiquitous in its nauseating presence, and foolishly so.

Commoditizing sex has made so many people profitable. By doing so they only created parallel sex addiction problems in people. And especially so in teenagers. Teenagers during their time have the highest sex addiction problems. One may blame it on their hormones, or even them, but things can’t be helped. Sex is more a commodity now. And addiction is an overuse of that commodity.

Democratic countries have the most problems with teenage pregnancies. Sex addiction problems create unwanted pregnancies and immature mothers. So many families are destroyed because of mistakes by teenagers.

The Internet, television, and movies are mediums that teenagers are genuinely attracted to. Projections of sexually liberated human species in these mediums, make teenagers also want to become like that. Sexual liberation creates STD proliferation. Where STD stands for sexually transmitted diseases. Sexually transmitted diseases can be the highest in teenagers, because teenagers don’t read much. They are at that age, when they will see something, and do the same thing. They call it “trying it out.”

The only way to deal with it is through sex education. Otherwise sex addiction can take to epidemic proportions. Educating teenagers on the safe way to indulge in sexual behavior will stop STDs. Though not very sure if it will stop sex addiction.

Sex addiction problems can only be solved through an effort that sets their perceptions about sex right. It also helps for them to seek new ‘highs’ than running after orgasms. By revealing to them the variety of activities that are thrilling, teenagers can un-focus from sex.

Filed Under: General Tagged With: Adolescence, Human, Human sexual activity, Kamasutra, Sex education, Sexual addiction, Sexuality, Sexually transmitted disease

The Ramifications of No Child Left Behind

: Image via Wikipedia

If you speak to a teacher, regardless of her political affiliation, she will probably agree that the No Child Left Behind program has failed miserably. Rather than helping children, it has stifled teacher creativity, hindered children’s progress, and relegated each class to the lowest common denominator. The premise of the No Child Left Behind program was to hold teachers and schools accountable for the educational welfare of each child. While in theory this sounds like a good plan, the reality is that is has significantly backfired.

The reliance of the No Child Left Behind program on test scores to determine success has masked the true progress teachers can make. Instead of taking classes in the direction of fully online schools, teachers are forced to concentrate on old-fashion standardized test content, creating an environment where learning and teaching is drudgery for both the student and the teacher.

This focus on test scores has left children more inclined to learning relegated to the speed of the lowest common denominator in the class, essentially inhibiting their performance. By not allowing the teacher to develop curriculum tailored to her particular students, the government has imposed assembly line learning where there is no freedom of thought. In addition, there have been instances where unscrupulous teachers went over the tests ahead of time, essentially giving their classes the answers and making it impossible to measure student progress.

The No Child Left Behind program is an example of an educational reform that failed both the students and the teachers. It created an atmosphere where a teacher was held hostage by a child’s test scores, regardless of whether that particular child was inclined to learn or not. Society must realize that education is not a one-size-fits-all straight jacket. Each teacher and child has different teaching and learning styles, and both need to have the ability to produce results with those styles.

Filed Under: Child Health, Counselling, General Tagged With: Child, Education, Learning, No Child Left Behind, No Child Left Behind Act, Standardized test, Student, Teacher

Stop being a pushover parent

: Image via Wikipedia

Parenting is an art. It is not a martial art, but a marital art. Yes, absolutely. That’s why it’s important to set your child or children priorities and rules right at the start itself. Otherwise things might not be in your control after sometime as they grow up. And you will end up being a pushover parent.

A pushover parent is a parent who has lost control over his or her kids. The reigns of the parent-children relationship will be held in the hands of the children. If your kids are not listening to you, then there could be two cases. One is that you are a pushover parent. The other one is that your kids think that your are stupid.

Agreed that parenting is not written in an instruction manual. It all boils down to experience. Move over rocket engineering, or making robots. Raising children is one of the toughest jobs on Earth. At least rockets and robots obey. If not they come crashing down. But not with children. If they do not obey, they come crashing down on your head!

No parent wants to have a forbidden disposition. If you are a parent, then you really don’t want your children to run away the moment they see your face. Definitely, you wouldn’t want parenting to be based on intimidation and fear. But the fact is sometimes it has to be.

As parents one can tend to become a little soft towards kids. It is impossible to naturally feel like shouting on a toddling kid. You don’t want to make yourself harsh in front of them or yourself. However, the more you might back away from being assertive, the more you are letting the child take over.

Parenting should have combinations of assertiveness, and calmness. Most importantly good parenting should have consistency. Without which, the whole effort to stop being a pushover parent becomes futile. Because if your are not consistent, then your kids will stop believing you.

Filed Under: General Tagged With: Child, Demi Moore, Family, Home, Josh Duhamel, Katherine Heigl, Magazines and E-zines, Parent

Does Adlreian Theory have answer to teen behavior issues?

: Image via Wikipedia

Parents are always worried about the root causes of teenage behavior. They are most often than not flummoxed in finding the answers as to what motivates teenagers in getting to certain things. Answers are still being searched for what pulls teenagers into forbidden things.

The mistaken goal chart is a part of Adlerian theory that analyzes motivation levels of adolescent children. It maps a child’s goal against the possible reactions from teachers and parents. For example, if a child’s immediate goal is to dominate, then a parent might feel angry over this behavior. Intimated parents or teachers might feel threatened about their positions of being custodians of the child’s future. They react to it by fighting back, and giving the child a hard time in hopes of mending the dominating behavior.

The reactions of the parent might provoke the child to have adverse reactions. Some of these are very rebellious behavior, not listening to instructions, defiant behavior, isolation, and revengeful tendencies. Adler’s mistaken goal chart provides solutions to fix these child or teen issues. For this kind of a behavioral trait, a procedure based approach is advised. By making a child comply with procedures and systems, the system will dominate the child, instead of the child feeling like being dominated by the parents.

Based on this theory, researchers feel that a proactive and not a reactive approach is the best. By cornering the teenager, he or she might feel like fighting back. This approach is more of a dominant approach. The best way to deal with it is to shower love towards the teenager, and try to get the teenager to soften up.

Adrelian theory clearly shows how teenagers can act in certain situations, and how parents misconstrue its meaning. By understanding this theory in full, parents can get a better perspective of teen issues. After careful scrutiny of this theory, a parent can always do a trial run of the stated suggestions. It’s worth a try.

Filed Under: General Tagged With: Adolescence, Behavior, Child, Family, Health, Home, Parent, Support Groups

Taming the Paper Monster

Most of the time, what stops us from living life to it’s fullest isn’t a lack of desire; instead, we get bogged down in the daily tasks necessary to provide for the future. The last thing you want to be doing at your daughter’s soccer game is to be worrying about your creditors, your publisher, or your boss…and when you’re waiting for an adoption to come through, the last thing you want is to have to spend time arguing with your auto insurance company because the check you sent them was lifted by an identity thief and you can’t find your records that prove it. This is why it can be so important to keep paperwork in order, it frees you up to do the things you care about most in life.

Here are three important steps for keeping the paper monster under control. To start, set up a time to deal with your files. For a busy family, you may need to do this as often as once a week. Secondly, use cross referencing. Use the same categories and file names in your digital files as you do on your hard copies. A few times each year, print off a list of what you have in each of those digital files and place it in the front of your file folder with the same name. If you’re filing and there are two categories where a particular item might fit, place the actual item in one of the categories. Then put a note about where you filed it in the other category, so that if you look there first you’ll know exactly where you put it. Finally, get yourself a shredder and put it to work. The less paper you have to chase around, the more time you have to spend with the people you love.

Filed Under: General Tagged With: Business, Computer file, File folder, File Management, Filing cabinet, Insurance, Paper, United States

Dealing with the Pain of Not Having a Child

: Image via Wikipedia

There’s nothing that brings more joy and happiness into life than becoming a parent. From birth to the teenage years, children add a sense of completeness to a mother’s life. Children become a part of the mother — a part that will stay with them well after the child has grown. On the other hand, nothing can bring more pain and sadness than not being able to bear children. If you are in the situation where you want a child, but are unable to conceive, you may be feeling the pains of not being a mother. Think about the following ideas to help you deal with the emptiness of not having a child.

Get a pet: To get a taste of what parenthood is like, get a pet. With a pet comes many responsibilities like feeding the pet, walking it, and taking it to the vet. You’ll have expenses like pet insurance, food, and medical care. A pet can give you a feel of what being a mother is like.

Babysit: If you want to know what it’s like to hold a child and care for their needs, ask a friend or neighbor with a small child or baby if you can babysit for a few hours. It’s not the same as having your own child, but it might help ease the pain if you can hold a child for a few hours.

Volunteer: Nothing gets your mind off of your own trials quicker than serving others. Volunteer in your community, with a church group, or even the schools. You’ll be so busy helping other people that you may forget your own cares.

It is painful to be childless if you want nothing more than to be a mother. While you wait for the blessing of having your own child, look for other ways to fill the need. You may be surprised at the options available to you.

Filed Under: General Tagged With: Babysitting, Child, Family, Health care, Home, Mother, Pain, Parent

Addiction: More Than Substance

: Image by Getty Images via @daylife

For many, the term addiction is defined only for substances such as tobacco, alcohol, or narcotics. This type of addiction briefly alters the chemical setting of the brain, but there are new forms of addiction that do not require a substance. Many people believe that addiction should be defined for both physiological and psychological addictions.

Many people believe the definition of addiction should accommodate psychological addictions. Psychological addictions can include behavioral addictions such as gambling, eating, sex, pornography, and exercise. The psychological dependency on the listed behaviors and more are being treated as addictions because they have the same symptoms of guilt, hopelessness, and anxiety as physiological addictions create in the user. Psychological addictions, like physiological addictions, can create medical conditions such as epilepsy and depression.

The concept of physiological addictions is mostly considered addictions to substances that alter the brain chemistry, but the dependence factor of the addiction creates different views when addiction occurs. Most professionals believe that there is no dependence on a substance if the individual has not built a tolerance for the drug or does not display the symptoms of withdrawal. The psychological or behavioral addiction has been defined as compulsions of human behavior that is not related to an actual substance. A recurring compulsion to engage in a harmful activity regardless of the consequences is the basis for the definition of psychological addictions.

The American Society of Addiction Medicine has combined both substance abuse and behavioral addiction in their definition, “Addiction is a primary, chronic disease of brain reward, motivation, memory and related circuitry. Dysfunction in these circuits leads to characteristic biological, psychological, social and spiritual manifestations.” With the broadening of the definition, there are many who suffer from addictions and are unaware their behavior is potentially harmful to themselves and those around them. By becoming more aware of your behavior patterns, you may be able to recognize psychological addictions that are developing or are already present in your life.

Filed Under: General Tagged With: Addiction, American Society of Addiction Medicine, Behavior, Behavioral addiction, Disease, Psychology, Substance abuse, Substance dependence